Mother
Everyone
has someone that's very important in their live. That can be your parents,
brothers, sisters, or even a friend. For me, I have a beloved person in my
life. She always guards me, always takes care of me and also always loves me.
Her name is Ni Nyoman Sunanti and she is my mother. She is beautiful, she has a
black hair, and she is tall and quite fat. She is a very good mother and very creative.
My mother
is very responsible person. She takes all the house works such as cooking,
cleaning the house, and so on. When she does her responsibility as a housewife,
she always does it perfectly, because she is a very perfectionist person. She
is also a discipline person. It can be looked when she taught her sons how to
be a good person.
She has some
hobbies such as make a handicraft. Sometime, when she has free time, she
usually makes some handicraft such as wallet, handbag, and etc. that made from
palm leaves or usually called "lontar". She is not just makes the handicraft but she also sell it
to earn money. Her hobby is very useful for herself and for our family.
As a
woman, she is very gentle. She always gives her love and her time to her
family. That’s very precious for me. Friendly is one of her personalities. It
can be seen when my friends came to my house a few days ago and she greeted
them all nicely. She is very nice person. And I proud of her.
In short,
as a beloved person, she is a very good mother. She is very discipline and a
responsible person. She is creative enough as a mother. Just like what she
always did if she has a free time. She is very nice person and I will always
love her.
Hello Adi, nice to visit your blog :D
ReplyDeletehow lucky you are having a mother like her. I am happy reading your writing.
Your mother such a kind person as you describe in your writing. :)
Overall, you have done a good job Adi. However, you may pay attention on the grammar and mechanics (like spelling, comma, etc) in your writing because I found several mistakes on it.
in this sentence ". that made from "lontar". after the period, you must start with a capital letter . For the grammar, in this sentence "Her hobbies is very useful for herself and for our family.", it must be "Her hobbies are very useful for herself and for our family." because the word "hobbies" is plural.
I Love your writing and keep working Adi :D
Hi Adi :) I'm here again...
ReplyDeleteWell, I will feel so lucky to have a mother like yours. The thing that I want to give is your unity of the paragraph. In the thesis statement you said that yourmoder taugh everything to you, but suddenly I just read that you show " her hobbies" and you didint explained how she taught it to you. Probably you have to explained the rlation between your mother's hobby and how she share it to you. That's all thank you..
hi Ady
ReplyDeletenice writing. I just want to put my comment on your thesis statement. I think you should make it clearer, I read it in three time to can find which one is the thesis statement. it should be clear and then you state it clear also in the following paragraphs. umm, pay attention also about the mechanic. that's all ;)
Hello Ady, nice to read your writing,,
ReplyDeleteI just to add something to you... In your writing, you have to pay attention with the grammar. In the third paragraph, I think you need to revise two sentences, those are: "She is not just makes the handicraft but she also sell it to earn money. Her hobbies is very useful for herself and for our family."
I think that it should be "She does not just make the handicraft but she also sells it to earn money. Her hobbies are very useful for herself and for our family.
Overall, your writing is so interesting...
Good luck!