Best Friend
Friends
are some people that you have in your society. It can be in your school, your
campus, or in your village or home. There are some kinds of friends such as an
ordinary friend, close friend, and also best friend. Best Friend is a person
that has a really close relationship with you, a person that you can share your
story and he/she can be like your brother/sister and for me, I also have a friend
that has a good relationship with me. His name is Wahyu Widiyatmika and all friends in the class usually call him "Chiko". He is a good person and we have some similarities.
Chiko is my
classmate in English Education Department. He is from Kintamani and here he
lives at Banyuning. He lives there with his brother and they look so friendly.
He is quite tall with a short curly black hair and also he's quite fat. He is very
fashionable. It looked from his fashion when he come to campus. He always wear
different clothes every day with a good style.
We have
some similar hobbies such as playing guitar, game and so on. I learnt to play
guitar from him. He is very expert in guitar so that's why I asked him to teach
me. May be because of our similar hobbies, we could be a good friend.
He is a
good person. He often to help me if I got a problem. Just like when I ate my
lunch at the canteen and I forgot to bring my money, he lend me his money to
pay my lunch. Besides that, sometime he could be an annoying person when he
told me and the other friends about his joke that didn't really funny. But even
though his jokes were not funny, he could make me and the other friends laughed.
Maybe that is his uniqueness.
In short,
as my friend, he is a very good person. He is also funny and humorist. Our similarities could make us as a good friend. He could
make everyone around him feel happy and laughing and for me I'm happy to be his
friend.
well, your description is good. the content is also good. you had describe your friend clearly but there is mistake in the sentence "But even though his jokes were not funny, he could make me and the other friends laughed". You should not use "but" and "event though" in the same time. You should choose only one of them.
ReplyDeletehi Ady
ReplyDeletewhich one is your thesis statement? is it "For me, I also have a friend that has a good relationship with me." or "Best Friend is a person that has a really close relationship with you, a person that you can share your story and he/she can be like your brother/sister."
well, in the 1st paragraph you wrote about physical appearance, 2nd paragraph you wrote about your similarities with him or maybe your relation with him and 3rd paragraph you wrote that he is a kind person. I can't find those three points on your thesis statement/introductory paragraph.
it is just my view, maybe you can explain to me next time ;)
Thanks chandra.. I've revise it.
DeleteI quite confuse about the thesis statement so i think that's why i can't explain it clearly.
thanks for the comment... :)
well, I see you already revise your thesis statement Ady and you did it well,
ReplyDeleteI think your description is brief but good and straight to the point
good job ^^
hay ady. i think your writing is good but i still miss something.
ReplyDeletein your thesis statement you said "All friends in the class usually call him "Chiko", he is a good person and we have some similarities." in the first line in 1 paragraph it suppose to "Chiko" right? may be you can change it into "Chiko is my classmate in English Education Department."
and also in 2 paragraph in line "He is very expert in guitar so that's why I asked him to teach me", i think the word "so" in that sentences is useless, you can go straight with "He is very expert in guitar, that's why I asked him to teach me". it just little bit correction from me ady. Overall you writing skill is good :)
Your writing skill is good
ReplyDelete