1. Topic sentence : There was a man with a black coat walking in
the crowd.
·
The man who
wears that round spectacle walked alone and brought a sign with him
-
Minor supporting
sentences:
·
“Free Hugs” was
the words which was written in that white board.
(I think it should be “Words which
were” not “words which was”)
Major supporting sentence 2:
·
At the
beginning, everybody thought that he was crazy or under a medical treatment.
-
Minor supporting
sentences:
·
There’s no one
noticed him.
Major supporting sentence 3:
·
But, the
condition was changed when an old lady started to hug him.
-
Minor supporting
sentences:
·
The man who
brought the sign suddenly gave his hug to her.
·
After that, he
was started to give his hug to anybody else.
·
This is a very
touching moment when everybody started to share their love by hugging somebody
else.
Major supporting sentence 4:
·
But, this action
seemed a bit out of the law by the police.
-
Minor supporting
sentences:
·
So, they banned
this action.
Major supporting sentence 5:
·
The thing wasn’t
like that.
-
Minor supporting
sentences:
·
The way to make
the police believe was by writing a petition.
·
It was supported
by the people, it showed when the people started to sign the petition.
(I think it can be
separated into 2 sentences to make it sounds more natural)
·
There were a lot
of people agree and support this action
·
Because of that,
the police couldn’t say anything.
3. Concluding sentence:
I can learn many things from this
video. We may not underestimate somebody who we don’t know yet. Whether he or
she has long/short hair, bad clothing, we have to respect each other. The main
point is to share our love to other people. By hugging someone else we have
shared our love and spread a positive feelings to others.
(At
the last sentence, “a positive feelings” I think it should be like this
“positive feelings” or “a positive feeling”.)
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